don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
