u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
