Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
