i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
