I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
