She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
