My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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