I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
