the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
