I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
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