Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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