How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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