Your face is a jimmy john
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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