there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
