Three words: puerto rican gang bang
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Randomize
