No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
