My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
