Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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