I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
