I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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