plz talk dirty to me
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
