C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
