I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
