we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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