Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
