Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
