Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
