Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
How drunk are you?
Completed.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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