I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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