omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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