I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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