So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
