I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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