Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
