no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
what the fuck happened to the tacos
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
