It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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