Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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