I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
