Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
