Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
