Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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