I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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