Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
