I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
