Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
