I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
