your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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