She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
