There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
