in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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