That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
