So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Randomize
