Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
