Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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