Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
