So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
