I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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