I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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