i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
