hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Randomize
