you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
