My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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