i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
