u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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