if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
