I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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