Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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