idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He better not be in your backpack
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
