question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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