He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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